Old friends, seldom seen, dot our memories
like push-pins in a fading map
marking places where we’ll not return.

(It does bug me when my friends get dozens of “Likes” for EVERY damn thing they post, and dozens of comments on such insipid posts as, “I’m wondering what to eat,” while most of my posts seem to go ignored.)

My absolute best friends are people I know thanks to Facebook. Various internet communities over the years (message boards, LJ, FB, Twitter) have made it clear to me that at school, while I’m totally thankful for the friendships I had, they were all, essentially, perfunctory. I went to a pretty tiny school, I guess, so cliques were not a massive problem, but my god, I was never a cool kid. I had decent friends, and – cold though this might sound – they served their purpose.

I can think of several people I’ve known online who, although I’m not very in touch with at the moment, I would help out in an instant if they asked for it. And I also have people in my life now who I just know I will remain close to until I’m dead. I just know it. My closest friends I met through Facebook, round the time that the second X-Files movie came out last year. Now, if that doesn’t sound like the nerdiest thing in the world, I don’t know what does! But these people made sure I got to go to the UK premiere of the film, before I even met them. These are people who are always around if I need them. They’re people I travel miles to meet up with, when I can. They’re people I wouldn’t have in my life if it wasn’t for Facebook. And it’s not just them. You – yes, YOU – dear Hannah, are one of the people I’ve met on Facebook who I’m so, so grateful for. I think you’re seriously, seriously awesome.

Of course, everyone feels differently about the things they see on Facebook, and like I say, I’m not telling you these things as a means to oppose what you’ve said – not at all. I think I have about 3 friends I knew at school on Facebook now. I remove friends and hide friends quite easily and don’t feel guilty about it – I think that must be a giant personality difference between us! <3

You're definitely not alone though, Hannah. There are definitely times when I've sat looking through someone's profile, or someone's photos and thought 'why aren't I like this?' or 'why aren't I there?' – even at times when I know those are the two most impertinent questions to be asking myself.

Anyway, I have so waffled on for longer than I meant to, ha! Know that you're definitely, definitely not alone in feeling like you do, but I hope you can think about the good things Facebook brings for you too! Know too that there are people on that site that love you to absolute, tiny bits. <3 xxxxx

Still, it never hit me just how personally people take Facebook until the day I was banned from it. The serious outcry from you and others (but specifically my own father) showed me just how much a part of our online lives this thing has become. And I can see how dangerous it is. Remember the reports of MySpace-related suicides a couple years ago? This is probably why Facebook has no “dislike” button.

I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again: COMPUTER SHOULD NOT REPLACE REAL LIFE INTERACTION. If you can’t see the other person’s face, at least be able to hear their voice. So much is lost in instant messaging, e-mail, text and so forth. It’s not and will never be the same, and is only preferable to people whose attention spans and/or egos have gone completely out of control. As the internet has become part of the average person’s life, you hear of more and more cases of depression stemming from it. Like gambling, like pornography, like anything addictive, there is a flip side. It’s dark and it’s miserable.

I recommend going outside. Reading a book. Anything to keep you grounded in the fact that computers are fun and can help us stay in touch, but still only represent a small piece of the big picture.